Yesterday marked two weeks since I started this tumultuous journey on, and my friend Que asked me (ever so fearfully politely) if I had lost any weight. Oh how that question shot tremors through my soul. You see, I've purposely avoided any scales so far.

That may sound strange for someone who's trying to lose weight, but I've tried and tried and tried and tried before with little to no results, and I wanted this journey to be different. My goal is not really to lose weight (although that is a very desired by-product). My goal is not really to become healthy (although, that is closer to my goal). My real goal is to glorify my Lord with the body He has given me. I want to be able to say to Him, "I love you SO MUCH, God, that here is how I have respected what You have created."

I started this journey by praying, no, by BEGGING God to help me do something that I had never been able to accomplish before, and already in these past two weeks, I have seen Him bring circumstances about that proved to me: this goal that He's put on my heart is important to Him. He is actively walking this road with me.

Because of the transformation I've seen internally, I didn't want to discourage myself by seeing no progress or very little progress on the scale. That was easy to manage, though. I simply stayed away from the scale. Then Que's question touched a question of my own, have I made any physical progress? I don't know.

You wouldn't believe how I stewed over my decision: to weigh or not to weigh. THAT is the question.

This morning, I stood in the bathroom brushing my teeth and pondering how my body felt to me. It definitely does NOT feel lighter, I determined. I should wait until I feel lighter to weigh myself. Then I started talking to God, "What do You think, God? Should I skip it? I should skip it, right? I don't want to feel defeated."

And God said to my spirit, I thought your goal wasn't about losing weight, that you'd be happy whether or not you lost anything as long as you were closely following Me.

"Oh yeah, that." I muttered.

So I bolstered my courage, and told myself, "Even if you've only lost a pound, or worse, gained a pound, it doesn't matter. You're in this to glorify God through self-control and training yourself to be a good steward of your body. So, you might be discouraged by the results, but you're going to keep going no matter what. Right, Missy? Right!" Then I stepped up.

"No. Way!"

I stared at the numbers.

"No. Freaking. WAY!"

I took inventory of my body again. I felt heavier. Really and truly, I felt heavier.

So how could the scale tell me I was seven pounds lighter?

SEVEN POUNDS! In two weeks!

Those two weeks had been filled with victories, yes, but also with multitudes of failure. Sparkpeople tells me that I should be eating between 1300-1500 calories each day and excersizing three times a week, but there was a day that I ate more than 3400 calories and a few days when I topped 1800 calories, and I certainly haven't been exercizing three times a week, although I have been more purposeful in trying to move vigorously more often. So how in the world...

Then I got suspicious. I jokingly said, "God, did You mess with my numbers just so I wouldn't be discouraged? Okay, just step back for a second. I want to weigh by myself."

I stepped off and then back on the scale, totally kidding with God.

Same result: SEVEN POUNDS!

Can you believe it?

I jumped up and down, twirling around the bathroom tiles, and shouting my praises to God. Then I counted that as one of my days of exercize for the week. (Just kidding.)
3 Responses
  1. Suanna Says:

    That's wonderful!!! It's so exciting to see what God is doing. It's working.

  2. Que Says:

    See... sometimes it's better to know than to not know. But in all honesty THIS is what I was talking about. I was wondering if it was making you feel better. If that meant losing weight then so be it. If it meant glorifying the Lord with the body he gave you so be that too. I just wondered if you were able to notice the changes you had expected when starting the plan. And it looks like you have! :)

  3. Spencer Park Says:

    That pesky Que!

    Well done you though!

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