I wrote about a strong hurt earlier, and someone sent me this email (and gave me permission to copy it here):

I read your blog today and I wanted to say that I totally relate to what you said. I’ve been hurt badly by people that were closest to my heart and I found myself withdrawing not only from them, but also from others. If people I care about most hurt me, than other people are sure to hurt me right?

We have very few friends at all due to this and even find that we’re distancing ourselves from family members. I’m not sure how to reverse this. Every time I allow someone to get close the first time they make the slightest wrong move I am retreating again. I know in my head that it is unreasonable to expect people to be perfect, but my heart likes to run and hide.

The struggle to move forward.

Truthfully, I don't know how to do it either. This is a subject that Jeremy and I discussed in depth a few days ago. I don't know what to do, what to let go of, what kind of expectations to have for myself or for relationships, how to get past my own wall. It's frustrating because I see myself eventually turning into a lonely, bitter person and that is exactly what I would NEVER want to be.

I begged God a few days ago to show me what He wants. I know He doesn't want my current state to be my perpetual state. In my meandering through the Bible, which I have mentioned before, my devotions that night were in Isaiah, and God showed me this verse.

Isaiah 30:15 - "This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.'"

Hmm, maybe all I need to do is nothing. I've faced my heart; I'm asking God to help me change; now, I just need to let His Spirit do the changing. I'm sure at some point that will require action from me, but right now, I'm supposed to repent, rest, be quiet and trust.

Surprisingly, I have found that hard to do. Letting God DO without me doing? Apparently, I'm not even very trusting of Him! :-)
1 Response
  1. DeAnn Says:

    I think when we are broken, afraid, unable to accomplish a task in our own ability is when we truly see God's hand in our life. Honestly, I think God places these situations (or allows them) because of the change and good that he knows will come out of the situation. I also think he does some of this to protect us from things that could happen if we hadn't been changed through our circumstances.
    That doesn't mean that I don't think that these situations aren't painful or that they're easy.
    I guess it's kind of like when one of our children pick up something that we know is bad for them. We know that we can't allow them to have it and we know that they will be upset and hurt when we take it from them, but we take it from them because we can see the big picture and know what's best.
    Does that make sense? I know your heart is hurting and you are afraid, but I'm so glad that you're seeing that God can use this and he can change how you respond to other people. Sometimes we just have to be brave and say "You know what? I might get hurt if I reach out to this person or allow someone into my life, but I'm willing to try." Let God do the rest.
    Love ya!

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