I consider myself to be a laid back, easy-going, que sera sera sort of person. I enjoy adventure and the unknown. I love surprises; I am very flexible. I enjoy life when someone else has the worries and hassles of being in charge, and I can just come along and look at the pretty scenery. (And maybe complain once in a while, if I find a butterfly that the existing schedule will not allow me to follow.)

This is why Jeremy and I work so well together. He provides the plan, and I provide the fun! Well, he's pretty good at the fun, too, I suppose.

But, if I have to be the responsible one and come up with a plan, my hidden control freak emerges. My plan must be thought out and written down ahead of time. Every event is timed and recorded right down to the minutes. For example: If I drove 72 miles per hour, it used to take me seventeen minutes to get from a parked position in our driveway to a parked position outside of Kimmie's school. Assuming it should take her about two or three minutes to walk from our car and get into a sitting position at her school desk, I knew exactly what time I needed to get up in the morning, taking into consideration that the two little girls usually took approximately twenty-three minutes on a good day to get out of bed, diapers changed, clothes on, hairs brushed and food shoved into their hands. This was all written down in my day planner by the minutes.

You think I am crazy?

You should see the schedule that I wrote in my day planner after Mercy was born. I could be classified as mental.

All of that to say, I am facing a great opportunity for my freakishness to show (no comments from the peanut gallery, please). We have a house that needs to sell. A replacement needs to be found for me at work. A new place to live in Indiana needs to be found. All of these items need to coincide fairly nicely with each other, or our family is going to suffer some type of inconvenience.

So last week, I began planning. I pulled out my day planner, and I wrote, SELL HOUSE. Only, I couldn't figure out which date to put that on. I don't know when someone will want to buy the house. So I decided I would come back to that. HIRE REPLACEMENT was next. Um, but, I don't want to hire a replacement until I am ready to move, and I won't be ready to move until I have something to move into, and I won't be able to afford something to move into until this house sells, and I can't sell this house until I have somewhere else to go...

Can you say

I became irritable and snappy. Jeremy asked what was wrong, and I didn't know. On the surface, I felt no discomfort. What was bothering me?

I talked to God.

Control issues. Mm-hm.

Deep breath.

Alrighty then.

"Here you go, God."

Several memories jumped into my mind where I was pulling strings, creating a pathway for my life, forcing the "right" things to happen. It didn't work. But when I gave up, God moved some mountains, and situations amazingly clicked into place, new pathways were created. Remembering helped me realize...again.

He knows what He's doing. He doesn't need an Events Coordinator. And I don't like that job anyway, so WHY WAS I DOING IT????

For the last several days, I've been sitting back, enjoying the butterflies while God works out the adventure details. Every once in a while, He gives me a task, and I complete it without worrying about the next task or the outcome of this task.

It's peaceful. It's fun. Let's see how long it lasts.
2 Responses
  1. Debbie Awful Says:

    I am such a list-maker that my lists sometimes literally contain lists. My to-do list might include "make grocery list" or "make packing list." I'm not someone who handles stress well at all, but I've learned that lists and post-it notes help me organize my brain...and start to de-stress a bit as a result. Go ahead and make your lists and schedules - as long as the word "Lord-willing" appears before each item. =) You're an amazing woman, Missy!

  2. Anonymous Says:

    You definitely are MENTAL!!


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