I have not talked about this before, mainly because so far it has just been a lurking shadow in my life, vaguely threatening, but never coming out into the open to do harm. But now, the shadow has moved slightly from it's corner of darkness towards the lighted room where my family lives and laughs and loves.

You may remember the blog that I posted about my brother Peter. If not, you will need to read that post to understand what I am about to write. Our baby girl, Liberty, was born with a few of the physical characteristics that people with DBA demonstrate. Because of those characteristics, her pediatrician in the hospital ran some blood tests for us. He found some anomolies, but nothing exceptionally out of place, and so together, we decided to "keep an eye" on her symptoms.

Liberty Grace turned one at the end of September. At her one year checkup, her hematocrit was low. Not drastically, just one point lower than the range. Our family doctor, a different one than the pediatrician at the hospital, prescribed iron and asked to see her again in one month. Although, I knew a low hematocrit could be a sign of the DBA rearing it's head, I chose to wait a month and administer iron.

Yesterday, I took Libby back to the family doctor for a second hematocrit to see if the iron had helped. It had not. In fact, she is four points lower than last month. Our doctor told us to go immediately to the hospital where they would conduct a CBC to distinguish specific levels of platelets and red and white blood cells. They told me a doctor would call me the following morning to give me the results.

So now, we wait.

I utterly despise waiting. I usually focus on the unknowns and begin to worry. I would rather know that something is wrong, than wait to find out about it. Last night and this morning, I had some long talks with God, and I have chosen to fasten my heart to these facts:

1. God is ALWAYS good.
2. God is ALWAYS in control.
3. If He chooses to do something that I would not choose, like
letting Liberty have DBA, He is still GOOD.
4. So I will praise Him. No. Matter. What.

That is my choice.

3 Responses
  1. Stephanie McCullen Says:

    I love you guys so much. I am praying for you all daily. Give Liberty my love. Do not worry, whatever the outcome-God is ALWAYS good! Keep the faith. God will see you all through this. Be safe & stay strong. Love always, Stephanie

  2. DeAnn Says:

    I'll be praying for you. It's hard having a sick sibling, but it's a lot harder having a sick baby that's your own. I'll pray that God will hold both you and Liberty close and that He will guide the doctors.

  3. Suebie Says:

    Libby and your family are in my prayers. God has the final say.

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